On Bill Belichick during the Super Bowl…
Nana: “That guy ought to smile more. They’re winning!”
You might even call it “Super”!
Nana: “I can’t wait to see Madonna! I’m sick of this rough house.”
MT: “I hope she doesn’t have a wardrobe malfunction.”
Nana: “That might be exciting!”
Not really a doctor you can trust
Doctor: “Do you have a living will?”
Nana: “What’s that?”
NT: “Do you want to be resuscitated?”
Nana: “No. Dr. Kevorkian had the right idea.”
Ulterior Motive
Nana: “The only reason I invited you to lunch is because I didn’t think I’d make it if I walked.”
Give a hoot, comrade. Don’t pollute.
In the late 1980s, someone called to conduct a survey for a school project and asks what should be done about the pollution problem.
Nana: “Blow it all to Russia!” *hangs up*
Outlasting their usefulness
After being treated for breast cancer and a hysterectomy, she told her doctor…
Nana: “When these things are through being useful, they ought to dry up and fall off!”
Surprise!
In a discussion about cremation, Nana couldn’t decide if she wanted to be cremated or not. After thinking about for a while…
Nana: “Oh, surprise me!”
He may need to see The Doctor…
Nana: “Did you see Pat’s T-shirt with the guy running out of the outhouse?”
NT: “That’s not an outhouse! It’s a phone box.”
Nana: “It doesn’t look like he just finished a phone call. It looks like he saw somebody in there.”
Christmas bunnies
Nana: “The rabbits were all piled up they looked like a Christmas tree! They didn’t know who they were trying to get pregnant. I’ve never seen such action before in my life!”
Sheet happens
Nana: “Take Kristian’s sheet over to the house.”
NT: “His what?”
Nana: “His sheet.”
NT: “His what?”
Nana: “His sheet! S-H-I-T sheet!”
Sometimes she gets in your hair
Nana: “Have you been messing with your hair again?”
Mary: “Yeah, I straightened it!”
Nana: “… God does a better job.”
Cookie soup
MT: “Boy, that soup was filling. I’m stuffed. Nana, can you finish it?”
Nana: “No…but I’ve got some cookies!”
Lesser of two jerks
Nana is reading the newspaper’s election day headline…
Nana: “‘Day of Decision’ …one jerk or another jerk.”
What’s cooking in Nana’s kitchen?
Nana’s shopping list…
JFXW
JT: “Jimmy has so many letters after his name, he can’t fit his phone number or e-mail on his business card.”
Nana: “Well I wish they’d [sic] shave; he looks like …overseas.”
She’ll host the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade too!
Nana on Ann Curry interviewing Ron Suskind:
“I don’t know how she can know so much about that book and still take care of her house and do …everything else she’s supposed to do.”
Die Hard 5: Straighten Up and Die Right
Nana: “I don’t want to be one of those hunched over old crabs. I used to see them when I was younger and I’d think of that song ‘straighten up and die right.'”
KT: “I thought it was ‘straighten up and fly right’?”
Nana: “Ohhh… that does make more sense.”
Stickers for Grandchildren…Even in College!
Nana: “Do you have any crepe paper streamers for your report card? I just had stickers.”
After Nana puts this report card away, she finds it again and thinks it’s a new report card every semester.
Age is relative
Nana: “That lady looks older than me. She shouldn’t be out to breakfast, she should be home eating an English muffin.”
That’s not a hobby shop, it’s a restaurant
Nana: “We should go out to breakfast tomorrow.”
Mom: “…but we’re at Cole Farms right now!”
Nana: “…but I gave up knitting! Eating out is my hobby!”